{{Drowning}} In >Sorrow< ((Open))

[.Rabid Lycan.]

I know you're gonna break my heart and,
My life without you in it
Is a life thats not worth living.

Kasa found herself tearing her gaze away from him once more, staring into the depths of the lake. She had spoken of heartbreak, too... and yet, she had said something about... Halo.
"She got better," Kasa murmured softly. "Fell helped her, and Halo..."
The words loved her froze on the tip of her tongue.
Maybe he doesn't know about that... would he want to know?

So I'll start to pretend I'm ok
But you should know by now that
My life is smoke and mirrors,
One thing is crystal clear
That I'm the one wishing I was someone else,
Anyone but me tonight

[Destiny]

I’ll tell you now you can’t win this
You’re way too slow
I’ll tell you now I’m gonna take this
Did you come here to watch me, watch me burn?

The beast listened. But after the words 'Fell helped her' he was so beyond grateful that someone had been there for her that the beast did not hear the part about Halo. That day was vivid in his mind's eye. Even more so then when he had first met Sunblaze, and that startled him. For with all the love he had for Sunblaze, Thite loved Mosca just as much. At times Thite had wondered if he would have chosen Sunblaze had she not been so young and such a danger to herself. Sometimes he told himself he would have still picked her. Others he realized that he might not have. Probably wouldn't have.

I’ll let it show that
I’m not always hiding
Come all the way down
And watch me burn
I won’t let it show that
I’m not always flying
So on the way down
I’ll watch you burn

"Oh Mosca....please forgive me... please... I love you... I've always loved you... Please forgive me..." The creature was gazing up at the heavens with a heartbreaking longing and sorrow in its gaze. Though Mosca most likely had not heard, the beast prayed and hoped that she might forgive him. "I shouldn't have left you there Mosca.... Not like that... I should have given you the love you deserved... The love that I felt..."

So let me know just how to take this
You’re way to cold
Now show me how before it breaks me
Did you come here to watch me, watch me burn?

[.Rabid Lycan.]

I don't believe that it's gotta be this way
The worst is the waiting
In this womb I'm suffocating

And Kasa went silent, pondering over the peculiar fact that she had discovered when they stumbled upon Mosca's dead body.
She swallowed roughly, hoping that Thite wouldn't notice her sudden anxiety.
Mosca had been torn open by those dogs... and there had been the small remains of an unborn pup in her stomach. Was the pup Thite's or Halo's? Kasa wondered. ...but then again, what does it matter? She hung her head. ...Mosca and the pup are dead now anyways...

I wanna live for love wanna live for you and me
Breathe for the first time now
I come alive somehow

[Destiny]

I’ll let it show that
I’m not always hiding
Come all the way down
And watch me burn
I won’t let it show that
I’m not always flying
So on the way down
I’ll watch you burn

The creature stood for several moments. Its figure frozen like a statue. Optics gazing up into the starry night sky. Aud's swiveled slowly and a strange sound was brought to the wolf's attention. Crown was lowered so that the beast had a better look at the little ebony fae. The beast himself might be a love blinded idiot at times, but his senses were strong. At that moment the beast sensed the anxiety as it flowed from the femme.

Noooooooo, ooooooooh

Velvet maw was parted as the brute's deep voice broke through the night again. "What is the matter?" Even a blind wolf would have noticed how anxious this little fae was. It startled the brute and worried him a bit.

I’ll let it show that
I’m not always hiding
Come all the way down
And watch me burn
I won’t let it show that
I’m not always flying
So on the way down
I’ll watch you burn

[.Rabid Lycan.]

Tell me that you will listen
You're touch is what I'm missing
And the more I hide I realize
I'm slowly losing you

Kasa choked. Thite's eyes were on her. She had the impulse to lie and say that it was nothing, but she knew she couldn't lie... besides, he wouldn't have believed her anyway.
"...I saw something when we found Mosca... and it's puzzled me ever since..."
Do you know about the pups? Did Mosca even know?

I don't wanna sleep, I don't wanna dream
'Cause my dreams don't comfort me
The way you make me feel
Waking up to You never felt so real

[Destiny]

In this time are we loving
Or do we sit here wondering
Why this world isn’t turning round
It’s now or never

The beast heard the fae choke. Noticed how she seemed to hesitate before answering. Yet, when she answered, the brute started.
What?
What did you find...
Mosca...
She wasn't...
The beast found himself swallowing nervously. It's icy optics were still staring down at the ebony fae.Though he did not know what she had seen, the beast had a feeling it was what he feared it was. "....what did.... you see...." It finally managed, hesitating as it spoke. As if afraid to hear the fae's answer.

We have no use
For the truth
And now’s the time for us to lose
Who we are and how we’ve tried
Taking every step in stride
It now or never to decide

[.Rabid Lycan.]

Seasons are changing,
And waves are crashing,
And stars are falling over us.
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter,
I can show you I'll be the one

Kasa faltered, but forced the rest out. It was now or never.
"Her stomach was torn open, and I could see... life inside of her..."
Taking a deep breath, she murmured, "Mosca was pregnant when she died... and I don't know who the father was."

'Cause you're my, you're my, my,
My true love, my whole heart.
Please don't throw that away.

[Destiny]

In this time are we loving
Or do we sit here wondering
Why this world isn’t turning round
It’s now or never

As the fae spoke the beast's stomach churned. For a moment he felt as if he was going to pass out. "Please excuse me for a moment...." The beast's voice was hollow, it sounded dead. Massive paws managed to carry it away from the fae. Closer and closer it drew to the lake shore. Finally the beast waded out into the water until the icy liquid splashed against his chest and drenched his whole lower body. Crown was suddenly dropped and the brute disappeared beneath the freezing liquid. All was still, for the moment.

In this way are we learning
Or do we sit here yearning
For this world to stop turning round
It’s now or never

Below the surface the icy liquid seared and stabbed at every piece of the beast. Like a thousand claws slashing through his figure.
She was pregnant...
But...
Who was the father?
Finally the beast burst from the water. It gasped for breath. Crown was tossed to and fro until it turned around in the lake to stare back towards the lake shore. The ebony fae was still there. "Damn.... I was hoping... that this was all.... a horrible nightmare...." It turned its head to the night sky. "Tell me.... why am I still alive?"

Where’s the truth
For us to use
Cause all we seem to do is lose
Who we are and how we’ve tried
Are we all the same inside
It’s now or never to decide

[.Rabid Lycan.]

Tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated

Mosca wouldn't want him talking like Dad Kasa thought bitterly.
"...maybe it's because Mosca doesn't believe that you should die?" Kasa replied softly. Inwardly, her mind was still buzzing over whether or not the pup was Halo's or Thite's...
If Mosca somehow gives birth in the Twilight Realm, I'm going to drown myself Kasa vowed grimly.

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the Milky Way

[Destiny]

In this time are we loving
Or do we sit here wondering
Why this world isn’t turning round
It’s now or never

"Mosca, forgive me for all that I have done. Sunblaze, forgive me for all that I have done. Gnaw, Bite, Mila, Claw, Svel, Yoru, Sierra,Serra,Belle forgive me. I am an idiot. Forgive me." The brute was speaking of both the dead and the living. But as he asked for their forgiveness he felt a great weight lifting from his shoulders. "Sunblaze, I can no longer care for our pups. I'm sorry, I am not fit to be a father. I pray that both you and Kojo will watch over them." The brute halted for a moment. "Mosca...I'm sorry..."

In this way are we learning
Or do we sit here yearning
For this world to stop turning round
It’s now or never

At the fae's words the brute turned his gaze back towards her. Still, he did not speak. Paws dragged the beast from the icy clutches of the liquid. When he was back on land, the creature simply sat at the lake shore and stared up into the starry sky.

In this time are we loving
Or do we sit here wondering
Why this world isn’t turning round
It’s now or never

[.Rabid Lycan.]

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

"...Mosca never blamed you for anything," Kasa added in a quiet tone. It was the truth, for throughout the entire conversation between Mosca and Fell, she had only blamed herself for what had happened between them.
"And she died fairly happy, I think..."
Someone had loved her until death.

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

[Destiny]

In this time are we loving
Or do we sit here wondering
Why this world isn’t turning round
It’s now or never

As the brute gazed up at the starry sky he wondered things. Where any of those stars the spirits of his family? Watching over the world from far above? Was one of them Sunblaze and one Mosca? Questions without answers.

In this way are we learning
Or do we sit here yearning
For this world to stop turning round
It’s now or never

The fae's words were barely heard. Yet as they were spoken a strange feeling of calm settled down over the brute. The beast lowered itself to the earth. Famished and exhausted but with not the strength to hunt nor the ease to sleep. Crown was layed a top crossed snowy paws. The beast looked like a statue.

In this time are we loving,
Wondering
Isn’t turning round
It’s now or never

[.Rabid Lycan.]

You blame me but
It's not fair when you say that I didn't try
I just don't want to hear it anymore

Kasa padded closer to Thite until she was merely inches away. The question had been burning its way up her throat, and finally she got up the nerve to ask.
"...how would you feel if the pup were yours?"
Of course, there was no way of knowing...at least, not the she knew of-- but she wanted to know, if...

We had time on our side
In the beginning we
We had nothing to hide
In the beginning you

[Destiny]

Worn out and faded
The weakness starts to show
They’ve created the generation
That we know
Washed up and hated
The system moves to slow
They give us answers
To questions they don’t even know

As the fae advanced towards him the brute tensed a bit. The beast felt some question coming. Crown was turned to gaze at the fae. Auds perked forward to catch her words when finally she spoke. "If the pup was mine..." The beast paused, unsure of himself. "....I'm not sure. If it were alive I would love it with all my heart, and even though it's dead I will still love the pup. For a father loves his children, all of them." And there was a pain in his voice as he said 'all'. For he had left Sierra and Yoru on their own. "I would be overjoyed and filled with agony all at the same time..."

You made it
You played it
Your shit is overrated
You made it
You played it
Your shit is overrated

[.Rabid Lycan.]

(wow, Thite would get along real well with my Diablo... they both have deceased mates, they left their children, their children now despise them/or dead, and they want to kill themselves :

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Kasa bowed her head. "And... if it weren't?"
She hadn't meant to ask such a question, but it just sort of slipped out without her thinking.
"...you don't have to answer the question," she added hastily.

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough