{{Drowning}} In >Sorrow< ((Open))

[Destiny]

Used up and jaded
You’re thinking way to slow
So we’re creating
Answers on our own
We can’t relate
To what you think you know
And you create
The problems that will never
Go away

The second question took the beast off guard.
If it weren't mine?
How would I feel...
If she found another...
Maw was parted and the beast managed to utter a few words. "If the pup was not mine.... It would be much better off. For I am not fit to be a father. I would be overjoyed for Mosca and the father, whoever it might be." Though the words were strong ones, they were true. The beast rose. "My pups..." For a moment the creature just stood there, pondering what to do next. Yoru despised him, but what about Sierra? And Belle was to young to take care of herself. Was he just going to leave them to die? But the beast had lost all his strength and quickly crumpled back to the ground.

You made it
You played it
Your shit is overrated
You made it
You played it
Your shit is overrated

[Ärï]

Nothing was going right. Nothing. But then again...when had anything gone right in Sunblaze's life? Never. Her parents died. Her uncle had been a bastard that had deserved what he'd gotten, her aunts had been messed up in the head, her sister barely put up with her, she was a mother at a young age, drowned one of her pups AND then she'd run off. Yeah. Not a good start in her few years of life.

Bluntly, Sunblaze was fairly sure she didn't want to go back. She felt...unsure. Thite probably thought she was dead. Why not let him go on thinking that instead of thinking her some sort of coward or fool? Why she had gone off wasn't even clear to her. All she knew was what she had messed up. Thite probably never wanted to see her again and her pups probably hated her. She hadn't meant to do it, really. She hadn't meant to go off alone. It had started as a hunt but then...she'd started running and kept running. At some point she'd told herself she should turn around but hadn't done it. Nearly a moon. A whole moon she'd been gone. How would she fix the mess she'd left?

Nearing the Twilight Lake, Sunblaze leapt onto one of the boulders on the western end, not noticing Thite and Kasa across the lake from her. In the shadows of the night, they probably didn't see her either. That was ok though. She didn't see them, they didn't see her. Until she leapt on the boulder. Her sunset pelt was washed silver as she stared up at the nearly full moon, amber eyes washed white by the glare.

The winds changed, shifting to blow to the east. They carried her scent right at Thite and Kasa but Sunblaze didn't notice. She was too lost in her misery and sorrow, staring up at the moon as if it could offer answers to her million-and-one questions. She doubted it could or it would but one could hope. Kojo had answered things for her before but now however, he was silent. The world was silent.

[.Rabid Lycan.]

I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find
The better part of me

Kasa glanced up, ears perking at the peculiar scent on the breeze... and the fiery form of a fae in the distance. "Who is that, Thite?"
It looks like an angel...
Stupid Kasa. It can't be an angel.

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I'll never see

[Destiny]

You made it
You played it
Your shit is overrated
You made it
You played it
Your shit is overrated

The night was wearing on and they were now into the early hours of the morning. Still, it was dark and the only light came from the shimmering stars above. As the winds, though there were hardly any at all, began to change different scents were brought to the beast's nostrils. One in particular was like a slap in the face. The creature quickly pulled its paws up to cover its head. Nose buried in its own fur and optics unable to see the shape that had appeared across the Twilight Lake.
So, this why you force me to live.
So you can torture me for the rest of my life.
And with her scent too!
How?
Why?
What have I done?
Stupid question...
Can't you just leave me alone?
Or at least let me die!

You made it
You played it
Your shit is overrated
You made it
You played it
Your shit is overrated

To bad for the beast, its auds could still hear everything around it clearly. Therefore it heard the question that the ebony fae spoke. The beast barely dared to raise its crown and look across the Twilight Lake to see who the fae spoke of. Optics of ice landed upon the figure of a sunset fae, pelt painted a silver shade by the light. The creature did not move, did not think, did not breathe.

You made it
You played it
Your shit is overrated
You made it
You played it
Your shit is overrated

When the creature finally spoke it had been over a minute. All this time the beast had been staring, stupefied, across the Twilight Lake. "Why? Why do you torment me and taunt me so? Your dead, your dead your dead. But your standing right in front of my eyes!" The beast deeply inhaled the scent. Wondering if it was all an illusion. But the scent that filled his nostrils was her scent. It waited several moments, trying to muster its strength, then it rose to its paws. Though the beast swayed and stumbled as it moved forwards, wading several feet into the Twilight Lake, it kept on. "Sunblaze." The word, the name, the reason for his life, the point of his existence. Could she really be standing there, on that boulder?Alive?

You made it
You played it
Your shit is overrated
You made it
You played it
Your shit is overrated

[Ärï]

Topaz eyes faded with exhustion and time fell upon the figures on the other side of the lake. One was speaking, moving. A white brute. Sunblaze wasn't surprised. She was beyond surprise. Nothing could surprise nor frighten her now. No, she wasn't dead as this brute seemed to think. No. She was simple aged far beyond her years, worn ragged and bone tired. A betrayer. A leaver. Foresaken. Forgotten. A blazing sun beginning to fade.

Oh how far he had fallen. As Sunblaze gazed upon Thite, her tired eyes softened with love and sorrow. She had made him fall this far, to where he could barely stand. Ragged, thin and so tired looking it made Sunblaze's heart break. She didn't deserve to go back to him and to her family. None of it. She didn't deserve a damn thing except to burn in hellfire for eternity. Even that, the greatest punishment to wolven kind, would be too forgiving, too kind. No. She deserved to live one hundred years with he painful heart and die slowly, dismembered and betrayed, beaten and broken. She didn't deserve Thite, for all the pain she'd given him. Her Twilight sent pups were too precious for her to be worthy of saying they were hers.

Rising to her paws, Sunblaze stood balanced on the boulder looking at Thite dead in the eye. Turning, she slithered down the boulder, landing soundlessly beside it. Once more she turned her head to look at him with the look of a prisoner leaving death row for a lethal injection. Turning her head to look at the ground, Sunblaze began to walk away.

Don't follow me Thite, Sunblaze thought. I'm a breaker, a betrayer. I don't deserve you or our daughters. Love them the way I couldn't.

[.Rabid Lycan.]

(this is a short n' snappy post, but it's because I'm sneaking on here to do it :

Kasa took a small pace forward, peering out into the waters. "...who is that, Thite?" she asked curiously. Thite obviously knew her... but she was very confused as to who exactly this femme was.

(don't forget to bring in Halo soon, Ari )

[Destiny]

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Around the beast the freezing liquid remained so still it seemed to be frozen in place. The creature's lower figure was freezing and the icy cold made it throb with the pain. Like a thousand claws stabbing him all at once. Snowy tassel was high in the air again, showing his dominance, his confidence and authority. Showing the beast's power. Just the sight, the small glimpse which he had gotten was enough to make the beast feel strong again. Optics with those two chunks of ice watched as the gorgeous creature stared him dead in the eye. As the beast watched the sunset fae turned and slipped down from the boulder. Walking off into the night. The beast's auds barely caught the question, but somehow it managed to utter a response. "Sunblaze. My mate." The words were hollow and dead.

You're sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand
This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand

Inside the beast its stomach churned and twisted. Its mind was scrambled and only one thought. One word. One name was clear. Sunblaze. As he watched her turn and walk away a strange emotion began to rise up within him. There she was. His reason for living. His purpose. The very center of his existence. Just walking away. For a while the beast just stood there and stared after the fae. Then,suddenly, it lept into the air. What a powerful leap it was, and where the strength to make it came from only the twilight wolves know. The beast cleared a good ten feet of the icy liquid. When his figure crashed back down the creature disappeared below the surface. One might think he was drowning, for he did not emerge for a very long time. In actual fact the beast was swimming upward and in the direction that the fae had gone. When its head emerged from the icy liquid once more the brute was padding through the shallows. Crystalline droplets splattering down onto the surface of the lake. Now he knew what that wretched emotion that was strangling him was. That horrid feeling that made it so difficult to breathe and see straight. Fury.

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

[Ärï]

Sunblaze heard splashing at the lake but didn't look back. She couldn't look back. If she did, she would turn around and run to Thite begging for mercy. That showed just how weak she was. Sunblaze bit down her sobs and mutterings that were likely more madness then anything and fixed her eyes on the ground. Her swift walk however was brought to a stop. Sunblaze wasn't sure why but her head raised and she looked around a bit uneasily, then her eyes caught the bank of the lake where she had just stood and widened.

Thite wasn't the only white wolf near the bank. Standing on the bank was a large, muscular brujo. His ivory fur laid smoothly over his muscular frame, large paws and pillars holding aloft. Bushy ivory banner flicking in a relaxed position, sharp ears angled forward. Burning amber optics gazed from Kasa, to Thite, to Sunblaze and back. Moonlight danced off his pack making him shimmer strangely. He carried no scent and Sunblaze knew at once that he was a Twilight wolf. Dead. But...why was he here? Sunblaze had never seen him before had she? No. She would remember. The black heart emblazed on his chest was enough of a marking to make her remember him if she had seen him.

Sunblaze was frozen to the spot, half turned back toward the others, staring at the star-strung brute as he gazed from each wolf in silent curiousity. Something to Sunblaze he didn't know why he was here either.

[.Rabid Lycan.]

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house

With huge amber orbs for eyes, Kasa took a small step back. No, it wasn't Sunblaze's appearance nor Thite's sudden lack of interest in Mosca's fate that confused and startled her. It was the white form of a wolf that had abruptly appeared on the nearby shore.
Oh, Kasa remember this wolf... she remembered him well.
"HALO!" she howled, stumbling back in shock.

Putting my heart back together.
Well I'm putting my heart back together

[Destiny]

Anger and agony
Are better than misery
Trust me I've got a plan
When the lights go off you will understand

You.
How could you?
Did you just up and runaway?
Did you think I wouldn't care?
I'm dead inside because of you!
I thought you were gone
Forever.
Damn you Sunblaze.
Even as these thoughts weaved their way through the scrambled mess that was the snowy beast's head they were only half the story. For, every story has two sides. Does it not?
Oh Sunblaze!
My beautiful,perfect Sunblaze.
I can't believe your alive!
I'm so happy to see you.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
Please don't ever leave me again.
I can't live without you.
Every story has two sides and in this case they are two completely different outlooks on the beast's love and her sudden and unexpected return. Thite is rather messed up, and he certainly knows it.

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing
Rather feel pain

Splish splash. Pitter patter. Splish splash. Pitter patter. Splish splash. The crystal liquid continued to shatter the calm of the lake as the beast moved itself onward. Massive paws slamming into the ground with such a force that it shook beneath the creature's weight. Only when it was out of the liquid did the beast take the time to glance around. Icy optics chanced a glimpse of a snowy brute standing not all that far away. The ebony heart on his chest a very familiar mark. Even before Kasa said the name Thite knew who this was. Halo. This was the creature that had seemed fond of Mosca, but why was he here? Icy optics were jerked back to glare at Sunblaze. They held a mix between agony,love and fury. When the beast's maw opened the words were so quick, so acidic, so filled with fury that it couldn't even believe that it had spoken them. "Don't you walk away from me again." And he looked her dead in the eye as he spoke.

I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you're wounded
You know (You know you know you know you know)
That I'm here to save you
You know (You know you know you know you know)
I'm always here for you
I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you'll thank me later

[Ärï]

The furiousity with which Thite spoke frightened Sunblaze though her face remained neutral. No wolf would ever see her show fear. Not since Ronin's death or even before. Harsh words and killing voices were things she was familiar with. They neither frightened nor hurt her anymore. At least...that was what she had thought. When Thite spoke to her in such a way, it was like someone had stabbed her. Like he was trying to control her, order her, confine her. Topaz eyes narrowed slightly in disbelief. Would Thite do such a thing to her?

"I..." Sunblaze started but her voice was choked off as her eyes locked onto the specter.

Halo's large paws moved silently as he padded past Thite, to Sunblaze. His large crown bowed slightly and he spoke to her so no one else could hear before raising his head and looked toward Kasa, past Thite. Raising his ivory banner, the brute began to set off along the bank of the lake, summoning Kasa to meet him, speak with him. She knew he was alone. Knew she was paining for her family. Halo had suffered in similar ways after Merci's death when he had rejected his sister's offspring and damned Fell to hellfire. He had found his peace in the end, as rough as his road may have been to reach it. He could help Kasa and soothe her curiousity to know about Mosca's unborn pup.

[.Rabid Lycan.]

It's not fair when you say that I didn't try

Kasa ran-- no, launched herself toward Halo. Her emotions were a tangle of excitement, joy, and confusion. Halo is... dead... yet--
Why is he here?
She nearly crashed into him before she realized that she was going to fast and slowed her pace. "Halo! Halo! You're... you're here!" she woofed happily, panting as she spoke. Kasa paused to catch her breath, thoughts whirling with questions.

I just don't care about you anymore

[Ärï]

A small, still sad smile found its way onto Halo's maw as the muscular brujo watched his neice bound to him. She looked so happy it made his heart heavy. He hoped she knew he couldn't stay. He roamed with the dead, no more to draw breath. Really Kasa's reaction startled him a little but he didn't let it show. He hadn't ever been there much for Merci's young, especially after Kasa and Shiro ran off from Star, leaving Kuroshin whom now roamed somewhere. "Shh little one" Halo murmured, reaching out and brushing his muzzle against Kasa's forehead. "Yes I am here but not for long. There's something I want you to do for me."

[Destiny]

The optics of the beast were almost glazed over with an impossible fury. In fact, not only was he furious, the beast was livid. "How dare you run away from me. Just up and leave. I thought you were dead, slaughtered or taken from me by the damned disease. I assumed I'd lost you forever. Because of you I left our pups alone, to fend for themselves. Because of you I haven't eaten or drank in far to long. Because of you I don't have the will to live, because my purpose. My reason for living. The only thing in this world that I could ever care so deeply, so unfathomably about was just gone. Lost." The massive snowy paws of the beast were forcing him to advance towards the sunset fae. The delicious perfection of the gloriously divine creature's aroma forcing its way into the furious beast's nostrils. Clouding the fury of his being with a foggy realization. "Was it all..... because of me...." The beast seemed to have come to the most obvious conclusion. The only thing that could make sense to him now. Sunblaze had left... and it had been because of him.

[Ärï]

Sunblaze trembled in fear as her mate approached. Each word he spoke felt like he'd raked his claws and fangs against her and made her bleed. Of course, Sun knew it wasn't her flesh bleeding. No, it was her soul. She sank low to the ground, staring down at her paws and trembled all over. She'd never seen Thite so enraged and...it frightened her. She expected him to lash out with tooth and claw any moment now, gut her and leave her for vultures. It was what she deserved.

Thite being Thite however, went and blamed himself. Her topaz eyes snapped open and flickered to life as she glared up at him and growled low in her chest. "Don't you dare blame yourself for my stupidity Thite" Sunblaze snapped, her former fire coming back just as fast as it had fled. "The things I do are by my own choice. My foolish actions are nothing for you to concern yourself with nor blame yourself for."

Just as quickly as the rage had come, it flickered out. The momentary fire that had flared in Sunblaze died as if someone had dumped water on it. Her topaz eyes lost their fighting light and she seemed to grow smaller and tired again, like a wolf aged far beyond her days. Sunblaze slumped against the ground and waited for Thite to strike out at her as he no doubt would.