Summer Nights {Tundra}

[Ärï]

Like the name suggested the Realm of Eternal Twilight seemed to always be night. This contented many of those that wondered there for wolves were made to be the predators of the northern nights, prowling forests and making sure every beast had something to fear, from their fangs to their burning gaze. Even in this peaceful nighttime realm, it seemed wolves still retained their personalities and habits from the past. Those that were pack wolves and social gravitated to their dead family and became stringent watchers over the living. The wolves such as the black-grey long-legged male padding through the forest however, wondered alone as he had many times in life. Scars once buried in his skin were now erased in his death, both sapphire eyes unclouded by blindness or hate and instead glimmering with the starshine of wisdom all wolves in the Twilight Realm received.

Once the proud Sheeran beta, friend to many and mysterious puzzle of even more, Azari roamed the realm of the dead without the company of wise old Sheerans or any of his kin. His kin were either burning in Hellfire or far from dead. No mate strode by his side and instead he walked alone with a sort of mysterious dignity. He knew the realm well by now, having been dead well over a year or two in mortal time though time didn't ever seem to pass in this realm of the dead. Ari's paws led him rather than his mind, bringing him to speak in the dreams of uneasy Sheerans from time to time though he seldom visited anyone he recognized.

A tale of blood, betrayal, violence, friendship, love and loss had made Azari's life a tangled up mess. Now in these realms, not even Mist would recognize him completely. In life though he'd appeared to the SilverMist wolves young he had looked broken and bent by the weight of his past sins and haunted by his still-living ghosts. Now as he walked through the moon-dappled forest he kept his head up, blue eyes bright and his coat sleek and unmarked by claws or fangs. Though he looked complete however, Azari's heart felt hollow as he wondered. In his death Azari had never learned the fate of his beloved mate Tundra. He didn't know if she was dead or alive, happy or angry. He knew nothing and that made him a restless soul wondering with one subconscious aim; to find his missing love.

Coming to a moon-washed clearing, Azari stood in the middle of it. His ashy black-grey coat was washed light grey by the intense moonlight as he turned his head back to stare at the moon and stars that seemed closer here than when he had been a living breathing wolf of the world. Intense loneliness swirled in his belly like a storm-ready sea. Without thinking, Ari let out a long mournful howl, a cry of loneliness that made pack wolves pity the loners when they heard the cries during peaceful nights in camps when they'd lived. It was a searching howl, a lonely cry and a nearly unearthly tone echoing through the realms of the forgotten dead.

[hOwL]

Like the stories of history of many of these wolves, there was only a few who even got as far to live half of hers. She was one wolf who started from bad from the beginning. Not being her fault but only an act of innocence and love between two wolves. From them she came with sibling that where not wanted. Thrown away into the forgotten and killed by the karma. She was left there...brought to a pack of blood drinkers and murders. Raised to be one of them...this is what she always was. It was hard to think that she ever came as far to fall into the goodness of Twilight, even with all the lives she took and the sins she committed. But she did one good thing...and that was fight for the fair. She gave her life for this, in the end she only being one of the millions who did...but one of the little that actually mattered. Her journey here took her back to harsh memories...from the day she was cursed on this earth...to the beautiful ones where she gave light to her first litter. Today she laid in a relax position. Her beautiful white fur glistening nicely with the reflection of light the pool of water gave off as she looked down at it with cold blue orbs. She looked calm...and full of kindness...only to come down that even if she was rejuvenated, she has not changed much in her temper. Compared to her last minutes on earth she looked nothing like her torn corpse...looking gentle and actually.....angelic. Her mind longed strongly for a male. A male she learned to love and give her heart up too. The one named Arizar. He unlike her, found life in a pack. Coming to be beta of all the good things. She missed him. Missed him like no other. But where was he? She twitched her ears softly at the sound of the forest, not bothering to look back at it. There was nothing to be afraid off here.....simply everything she learned. She picked up her lean well shaped bodice walking over to the smooth rock surface. The pale silver moon shined down from the blue swirled stars making her white fur glitter elegantly on the gray surface. She looked up at the moon, with the coldest eyes a female will ever have. Tilting her head back, a strong vocal came from deep down in her chest evening out to a song melody toward the moon...nobody particular. A song full of love, & coldness....sounding lonely yet accompanied. Being the little bits of everything...strong and powerful, dipping down to held notes that no other could ever match. Lowering her head she tilted her ears at the lyrics of others who continued her song, singing back to them she howled toward the midnight sky once more.

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[Ärï]

Letting his sad song fade, Azari lowered his head and perked his ears. He heard the distant echoes of other lonely souls continuing his song both male and female voices echoing in a lonely chorus across eternity. Eternity. Such a hollow word. Just thinking it made Ari's insides ring with an unexplainable emptiness. Sure he could still aid his pack and guide their dreams but he wanted only one thing now and that was a fae he had learned to turn away from. Tundra. Her second disappearance from his life before his death had brought him to think many things. Perhaps he had grown too old and she had sought out a younger mate? He wouldn't blame her. Near the end Ari had begun to feel the effects of his long harsh life, head bowed under the weight of his sins, nearly blind and becoming very ragged.

Even as Lithium had torn him open and left him to bleed out, Ari had still thought of Tundra with affection and reverence. The gaping wound in his heart ached painfully as the blue-eyed brujo stared at the moon imagining his beautiful mate. Others had told her she was unfaithful, warned him away from her in the start but over their moons together she had never proven unfaithful. She had always come back to him until the end when he'd laid dying alone and forced his dying body to get back to camp to die in the mourning company of his pack. In his mind he had died alone. Even when surrounded by his pack howling a final farewell, Ari had felt alone. During crowded pack gatherings he had felt cold and empty. Without his little "Heartbreaker" he had always felt alone and empty.

"I miss her" Ari murmured, a crystaline tear cutting through his dark fur.

Never had he vocally admitted his longing for his "unfaithful" mate. He'd been a fool, he knew, so many had told him so. He may have been a fool but he had been in love and Tundra had brought life to a barren existence. That had been enough for him. It seemed Azari's afterlife was fast becoming a remake of his living days.

Wondering without aim, the male began to move again. His pace was brisk, ignoring everything around him and blind to all. They told him mortal memories faded and slowly he had found that to be true. His mental images of Tundra he'd held so dear in his life were faded and fuzzy, unfocused, unsure. He couldn't remember her coat color or her eye color anymore, only her voice echoed in his ears. All the things she'd said to him replayed in his mind, sometimes he could hear the conversation and other times he wasn't sure what was being said. It was strange but it was his last link to his beloved mate.

Stepping into a clearing, Azari was blind to an ivory femme not far away, listening to the distant cries of the wolves carrying Azari's song upon the wind. Aware of a presence, the sapphire-eyed male raised a blank, unfocused gaze on the she-wolf, meeting her gaze.

[hOwL]

When he entered the clearing she ended her song once more, her blue opecs landing directly on him as he looked right back at her. Her bright blue eyes where the hue of no other. One thing that made her different from everyone...along with everything else. Her gaze burned almost violently into his. Flashes of his face and his love he gave her flashing into the cells of her mind taking her breath away and once more filling that empty spot that has been empty for so long. Images of her pups of the pack...the lies the betrayal came along too. The words they spoke about her...warning him that she was useless to this day, there words are clear in her thinking. A numb feeling came over her...Azari, she only dared whisper his own name in her inner mind. Breathing became in slight low releases as her bodice seem to just strike in that pose...looking almost alert then anything else...but she knew well who this male is....well how important he was in her own living and dead life. But was he real? Many times he had visioned him...Azari? She called over the water in a cold crisp tone. She hushed, her gaze never leaving his.

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[Ärï]

"Nearly two years since anyone's call me that" Azari barked, examining the she-wolf. She looked strikingly familiar but his mortal memories had begun to fade. He knew only the faces of those within his land of the dead and the voices of the living. When he greeted them as they died, their voices triggered a wave of memories but for some reason all he could call forward for this fae was a familiar voice speaking words he couldn't remember. It was confusing and frustrating but neither emotion showed on his face. He simply chose to regard the femme with a curious but content gaze, starlight shining on his dark pelt and glimmering in endless sapphire pools.

Yes, for once in his afterlife he wished he could have those mortal memories back, clear and sharp. It was annoying not being able to remember this fae's name. His own loneliness and detachment from other Twilight wolves had clouded his mortal memories, drowning them in a fog he couldn't see through because he had sought to forget. He remembered big things like someone's pups crawling around his paws, light blue eyes staring up at him as a little fae pup sat between his front paws, large battles, the stench of blood and the sting of fresh wounds but he life couldn't have been all that right?

He kept a steady gaze on the she-wolf, cycling through the memories he had, mainly of the Journey and his pack. Because of Tundra's absences throughout these times he had no recollections then of Tundra, only a small pup that had looked like her, forever trailing in his shadow with adoring blue eyes fixed only on him. Nova. That was a name he knew and loved but she was his daughter so...where had she come from? Thinking farther back Ari caught a flash of memory and held on to it; a beautiful fae with piercing blue eyes and fighting on her blood. Powerful, dark, untouchable by most but himself. Yes, that was the fae he saw now but...what name? He remembered Sheerans had seldom spoken Tundra's name so his most recent mortal memories had only been of "his mate" not a name. Nova's adoring gaze had always been on him despite the gripes of others claiming he was "still a killer". Unlike "his mate" Nova had given him complete adoration and affection but what of...Tundra?

Recognition flashed through Ari as his head snapped up to stare at her once more, having been struggling to remember. His eyes unclouded and clarity flooded his mind and memories. "Tundra?" Ari barked warily, not quite sure how to react. He half expected her to be wondering around the Realm with another mate or better yet not in this realm yet.

[hOwL]

Her smooth pads walked closer to the edge of the rock. As if any moment she would cross the water that separated them in seconds. But movement didn't work that that. She stared at him, refusing to let his figure leave her mind, & presence. Tundra listening closely to the words he spoke....his voice....she held her breath as she felt a flush of relief and depression come over her, suffocating her and blurring her vision. Was he mad at her? She stepped closer again and blinked the glossy coat of tears away from her azul eyes looking at him again. No...that wasn't it. He couldn't remember who she was, correct? She let go of her held breath turning around. Why do you hold on feelings that faded? You lived your life...and like always you messed up...even with him. she told herself. She began to pad away slowly, her heart beating strongly in her throat to turn around and scream those simple 3 words she felt with all her mind and body. But memory has faded and introductions was to late. He had forgotten her....there was no hard feelings in such. Vanishing from the pack to tend things she should have left along...but she was there....watching always. Even when they threaten to kill all her family she never truly left them, from every shadow she stood watching her daughter walk along with her father. Anger and miss steps drowned her in depression, her silky ears flickered back as her name was called on the breeze. It was then when she turned around to look at him, strong emotions building up in her numb unfeeling heart. She waited no longer, her white body running down the gray stone walking over onto his side with the smoothness of a cloud floating in the sky. Sitting down a few steps away from him, she stared once more into his coat....his pattern of fur, the familiar face that had started to fade slowly in her thinking, wanting to touch him....to bury her nose once more into his pelt and breath in that delicate scent he held. Yea....that would be me, she told him, her voice as crisp and cold as the first time she spoke. Even though emotions of hurt and want rushed on the inside....her blue skied eyes held none of the emotion she felt...until her gaze glazed over again with the action of tears, she got up once more walking closer. You don't remember me do you, she whispered softly, her silky lean bodice stopping half way her ears pinning with uncertainess. Only a clear sparkling tear, gently exposed through the white fur ran down her cheek fading away into the whiteness of her pelt. This being the only feeling that told you, that she hurt, alot inside. So much that nobody will ever be able to understand.

[/blockquote]

[Ärï]

"One can't always put a face with a shadow or a voice from the past" Ari murmured, watching Tundra. She'd always been an open book to him once he'd cracked her shell. She wanted to love and had learned to. Azari, in his mind, had known he could never old her down. Despite his past he had been a devoted pack wolf that wanted nothing more than to live his life for others. Tundra had always been free roaming and wild, far wilder than Azari. He'd been a messed up wreck surrounded by males more impressive in size and power. He had known someday Tundra would get up and leave. When she had, Ari had mourned but not been overly surprised. Things had begun to move and her face had faded from his mind but never her voice. Even in his afterlife.

Sadly, as Tundra was an open book, Azari was no good at hiding from her. With his words, hurt flashed through his eyes but he was also impassive. She had left. He had accepted it as another blow and nurtured Nova as best he could. Her brief flashes into his life had made his heart swell painfully only to be shot down like a balloon being blow up then stuck with a pin. In the end, Ari had made his choice and given his heart to the Sheerans, the only thing he had left. He had died for Mist's safety, forced a dying body back to camp so she could say goodbye and make sure she knew he wasn't leaving her like so many others had. He'd chosen his life and so had Tundra in the end and Azari had simply accepted.

Strangely however, like always Ari couldn't make himself mad at her. Maybe he was just a fool for her or maybe his love was true regardless of her own. Perhaps it was the Realm of Twilight that had soothed his heart in his death. Too young to be one of the peaceful ancient spirits yet soothed and calm as though he'd wondered for centuries in peace.

"So many lonely moons and I can't even hold on to the memories of my dear ones" Ari commented mournfully, never taking his gaze from Tundra. "So many dreams and yet I couldn't seem to hold on to an image of you even in my mind." Ari chuckled, eyes watching Tundra with a gentle, affectionate gaze.

[hOwL]

She searched his gaze strongly for a sign...for something to tell her that yes he knew who she was. At his words she was left in a world of unmannered questions...somehow having the feeling that they never will be answered. She held her breath, and looked away. She knew he was hurt with her disappearance. But never again did she even let a male look at her in a disrespectful way. Sniff her or nearly speak to her. She did not leave because she had found another to love...because there was nobody on this earth she loved more then this male that stood right before her....but there was two for love...and this time it was only one...and a resent another. Only recently had Tundra died, finding herself into this realm. She died like any brave warrior would...but never belonging to a pack. Her eyes looked deeply into his and the hurt that came in his gaze connected with her inner feelings and crushed them feeling them crumble and make her feel numb and dis wanted by many. His next words came over to her like a cold droplet of rain landing right on her ebony nose. She stepped forward before stepping back, and looking at him. Leave...why do you want to make him feel more pain with you here? Her mind told her. No. She told herself bluntly. She pinned her ears back at him and lowered her head in a submissive manner. I never left you or Nova..., she whispered in a light steady breath. So far this being true. Her azul orbs looked strongly into his...infact leaving the pack pregnant with his pups...but he will never no...because like many things...she failed at this. Adding onto the list of entering mistakes.

[/blockquote]

[Ärï]

Turning his gaze away from Tundra, Azari stared at the trees, sitting back on his skinny haunches and simply staring into the dark space. "They called me a fool you know" he mused. "Not to my face of course but they all thought it. I thought it myself a lot. Why trust a roamer? Why give my heart to a mistress as wild as the wind and as cold as the Arctic?" His darker blue gaze turned back to Tundra, amused and relaxed. "I never could answer them or myself. Never could figure out why I couldn't turn you away or tell you no. I wish it had been as simple as me being a fool but it never was." Ari shook his head thoughtfully and chuckled. "I still can't make myself mad at you Tundra. Never was a strong enough wolf for that."

His words were spoken with gentle affection, eyes glinting with loving amusement. It was funny, when Nova gave him a big blue-eyed stare he never could tell her no. One word from Tundra and he could never be mad or say no to her either. Never could he refuse Tundra and never could he remain mad at her though in his living times the hurt had lingered. He had accepted it as another part of Tundra he would have to accept and had done so. Even when Tundra had bitten his neck when in a hurt rage at the cruel words of other pack wolves, Ari had been unable to be mad with her, only surprised but then understanding. Maybe it was because he had felt a shadow of her pains and had seen her remorse every time she came in the night and had tried to stay. Every time, even in the mountains, he had known she wouldn't stay but he had never turned her away.

Leaning forward, the tip of Ari's nose ghosted a brush against Tundra's, his gaze just as loving as ever. No, he could never refuse her and he wouldn't start trying. "It hurt when you left but I always knew you'd be back in your own time" he murmured softly, searching her gaze.

[hOwL]

At his words it made her heart lower...even if he already looked and felt as if it never would. She knew well what they told him...infact she knew all of them who did. Who told him he was stupid to linger with her. For ever thinking he could start a family with...& to tell you the truth...she too thought the same thing. Foolish. She looked up toward his face again, pinning her ears pack as yea...it hurt to hear him say this. His words burned...but the tone of them being so gentle and mused. She turned her face away from him. Its the way I am....and I cant change. she woofed to him, her penetrating gaze lifting to lock with his once more. She couldn't say she tried...because she did...for him. She lifted her gaze at his last gaze her eyes turning hard and almost harsh with anger. What was he speaking about mad at her? She shivered in her cold bodice, stepping back from his touch when he dared touch her. Ah, ah...another mistake. What do you mean bring yourself to be mad at me? I have done nothing wrong for you to be mad at me....trust me on this one, she snarled violently at him, stepping back again tears once more filled her eyes. I dont need your anger against me...everyones else is enough, thank you, she added with a hurt yet powerful and offensive tone. She stared at him for a while longer before the front half of her bodice turned around and she ran away from him...it sounded as if it was nothing at all....but it hurt that even now he could find a reason to be mad at her...when all she did was for him & her family. Get away...get away... But even then she lived her secrets....secrets that would kill her inside...even if on the outside she was already dead.

[/blockquote]

[Ärï]

Azari watched as Tundra fled, just like she always had. Sure her leaving stung but no worse than anything else, no worse than Lithium's fang ripping him apart, no worse than any other aching wound on his heart. The Twilight Realm had shed him of his scars but his heart's wounds remained. He had never been upset or angry with Tundra because he had never been able to think anything cruel of her the way others could. Sheerans would snarl and mutter about her being disloyal and they pitied him as a fool. Still, everytime he heard it his anger had been at them not her. Never had he been able to make himself think the sensible thing and be mad at her, turn away from her for good. She was a drug and he'd been addicted, willing to wait years even if it meant she might come back. He'd held on to a vein hope that someday she would stay but he knew she wouldn't every time and every time he waited patiently, turning, literally, a blind eye on other faes and focusing on Nova, caring for her until her mother's return.

Really Ari wasn't surprised to find himself running after Tundra. Like he said, he'd never been able to be angry with her, only sad but patient. His anger had been spent by the time of his death and right now he felt like he'd waited long enough. The fleet, skinny dark brujo bounded just behind Tundra like a shadow, faded grey rather than black.

"Stop running Tundra" Ari urged gently, brushing his nose lightly against her shoulder. "Our lives are over, it doesn't matter what you've done anymore. Yes, I felt hurt in my living live but you felt more that's why I waited. I thought in the end you would need someone to make you stop running, slow down and breathe."

Azari slowed his pace, dropping away from Tundra's side and coming to a smooth halt in the edge of a large clearing in front of a few large oaks. Thick mist coiled peacefully around the trees, reaching around Azari's limbs as he watched Tundra to see if she would stop or if she would keep running. If she was going to run, he would just continue his little waiting game. He had eternity to wait and not even a Twilight wolf could run forever.

[hOwL]

When things got hard she fled. When she saw an impossible outcome she fled. When she felt hurt and angered she left too....but Tundra honey it was time to stop running. Like her weakness and her strength she once more felt his gentle patient touch at her shoulder, and she relaxed her suffocation thoughts in her calming ever so smoothly but bringing stress and remorse into her throat. Why did she do this to herself? She stopped and looked over at him, where he stood a few feet away from her. She listened carefully. Our lives are over, it doesn't matter what you've done anymore. Yes, I felt hurt in my living live but you felt more that's why I waited. I thought in the end you would need someone to make you stop running, slow down and breathe. He told her. She felt a hot rush of tears and emotions come over her. Its not what I did that hurts the most. She told him in her icy cold tone, not a single drop of emotion put into those words but she sure felt every single one. She was never a mother like she planned. Neither the best mate she wanted to be. She failed and she didn't need flashes of memories to tell her, her own mistakes and flaws. She knew them all...by heart. She walked over to him once close enough you could see the mixed feelings she held inside though her now transparent gaze. You hurt because of me.... she told him with a steady stare into his own blue orbs. It was only then when she dared smile just a tiny bit as she looked down at her paws. You where the best thing that happened in my life...& gave me all I ever wanted. she whispered to him, in a delicate almost perfect tone. He gave her the love she so desperately needed....and pups that she would give her own life for...in the end that being what she did. Even though I kept running...you weren't the reason why I did, it was for you. I might not ever stayed...but you did...allways right here. she told him bringing her nose out to the spot where the heart would be. She brought her bodice closer to his, holding her snout closely to his closing her eyes she gently touched his dark fur compared to her own, It was never the reason because I no longer loved you...because I always have...and forever will.

[/i] She whispered in a soft almost romantic tone, as she pressed her femme bodice against his with the most affection she possibly give.[/size][/blockquote]

[Ärï]

With the gentle affection he had always shown to Tundra and Nova, Azari rasped his tongue lovingly over her ears and muzzle. He knew she'd always been a wild one but she was neither a coward, failure or horrid. She was like any other wolf. When life was hard somewhere, they ran to escape it. Whether the packs admitted it or not there were many times in their history when they had fled from bad things. Tundra had simply been...more flighty than others. Still, every time she had run Ari had let her take his heart. In his mind he'd assured himself she'd come back. He'd looked to Nova and seen a copy of his beautiful mate. In his mind Nova had been Tundra's way of staying.

"Yes, I hurt in my life Tundra" Ari murmured, nuzzling her muzzle. "But my whole life was one painful ache. You and our pups made it worth it. I did worry sometimes but, I was growing old, torn up and blind. I wouldn't have blamed you for leaving for another but something always told me you weren't gone for good." Ari pulled his head back a bit to meet Tundra's typical icy, confused gaze. "Even when I was dying for a pack you disliked, I died knowing that I'd find you again and that I had eternity to wait."

Azari pressed his nose against her muzzle, meeting her gaze with his tranquil gaze. Without the weight of the world and his past haunting behind his eyes, his gaze was as clear as the night sky overhead. In his youth Ari had been hateful and impatient. Now a wolf seasons wiser and as patient and harmless as a blind old tortoise stood in the realms of eternal night. Azari was a different wolf from the one Tundra had known. His life without her, his death and the time spent in this peaceful realm had changed him to something quieter, something greater than a mere Sheeran beta that had died stopping an assassin.

[hOwL]

I never left for another, she reminded him as she closed her eyes softly to his lick, and nuzzled against him. She licked his leathery black nose with deep affection. Affection that has waited so long to express itself. She cuddled into his fur and listened carefully to his words. With a guilty heart she flickered her ears back. You have waited for a long time...I'm here now...and I'm not leaving, she whispered to him licking at his cheek. A memory of her first pups came into her mind a soft smile coming onto her lips, holding on to the feelings of pride and joy. But from that pride and joy came depression and hurt. She sighed deeply and nuzzled closer to his flesh and got up walking over to the pool of water she stared down into when she saw him. Come...I have something to show you. she barked to him. She looked down at her reflection for a long while. What made him fall in love with you? she asked herself in her mind. She looked into her own eyes, full of deep pools of coldness. She looked away behind at him waiting for him to come over....it was hard to imagine her life without him...she loved him. But did she really want to tell him? She looked back down at her paws....yes....they where his just as much as they where hers. She took a deep breath of uncertainness.

[/blockquote]

[Ärï]

Without the Sheerans to tie him down other than seeking his word in dreams, Azari had nothing to keep him from Tundra. There was nowhere in the Realm of Eternal Twilight that he could not follow. If she wondered to the depths of Hellfire, Ari would follow like the faithful shadow he had been to many, including both Mist and Tundra. If her fears caught up with her, he would lead like he had for Nova and many younger Sheerans. In his mind however, Ari could only see himself walking with Tundra, either as her guide in dark storms or her support when nightmares came to life. To think he'd gone from powerful, bloodthirsty alpha to humble and quiet.

Following Tundra toward the pool without question, Azari laid down at the edge of it beside his beloved mate. His deep blue gaze stared down at the mirror-like surface. He had used and seen many such pools to commune with weary Sheerans and push them in the right direction when he felt they needed higher guidance. Sometimes he would lay for days and simply watch, drowning in sorrow and missing his life as a living breathing wolf. Now however, with Tundra beside him he felt no such loneliness or longing for life though he did feel curious. What could Tundra want to show him?

Figuring it was probably one of the many mysteries of his beloved he hadn't yet unraveled, Azari waited patiently to Tundra to touch the pool and show him what laid so heavily on her mind. Laying his head upon his outstretched front paws, Ari turned his gaze from his ivory mate to the pool once more, waiting quietly.