WotM - The Play! (Version 2.0)

[.Rabid Lycan.]

(Destinian Terra)

Isis: I think so—let’s go after it!

Narrator 2: What…? Narrator 3, what’s wrong?

Isis: -gasp- I think there’s two of them! –bounds off into the woods-

Narrator 2: o.o –runs to (Hellfire)-

(Blood Mist Camp)

Euphrates: Ummm… er, y’see… I… you’re my mother, after all, and should probably know… but, Fireflight here, I need you to stop killing her for a while. ‘cause, y’see, she’s… erm… me and her… we extended the family together… if ya get what I’m sayin’…

(Siverian Camp)

Shade: … does this mean… I’m a father. And possibly a mother.

The realization that he is going to be a father hits him. The little hamster in his brain wheel suddenly kicks into motion.

Shade: I’M GONNA BE A DAD!!!

(Sheeran Camp)

Coop: …………………. Er….

Fangirls/Shippers: <3 <3 OMGCPRMOMENT <3 <3

Coop: ………….. what the hell.

Coop takes the opportunity to show what he’s made of, Zethro style.

Elsewhere, Arroyo is roaming the skies searching for his beloved Sivveh, unaware of the CPR exercise.

(Yozoran Terra)

Bain gets out a gun and shoots the crickets for ruining the atmosphere. He then calmly settles himself.

Bain: Hmm, it would appear we share many common interests. I enjoy dancing, for one. I kill people, though not for vengeance—it is because it is my duty as a wolf of these packs. I also get inside information from other packs, and hope for a better future.

Long pause.

Bain: …I also collect faces. Want to see my collection?

(Loner/Rogue Lands)

Anti-Sanceul looks up, eyes bulging when she sees Damien standing in front of her. She salivates.

Anti-Sanceul: -thoughts- OMGASTUDMUFFIN. NOM.

Anti-Sanceul approaches Damien, eyes shining. She rubs her head under his chin, sliding until her tail brushes flirtatiously against his chest.

Anti-Sanceul: Say, Mr. Hero… what d’ya say you and me go and fool around? I’m sure all those powerful limbs could be put to good use.

Anti-Sanceul: -thoughts- And I’m not just talkin’ about those buffalicious legs… bwahahahaha!

Morgan: ಠ_ಠ

Elsewhere, Real Sanceul is taken captive in Anti-Morgan’s remote underground lair. She hyperventilates, frantically seeking an escape route, but it stopped by Anti-Morgan.

Anti-Morgan: Now, dear, I’m going to remove the tape from your mouth, and when I do, you are going to use your calm inside voice, and not swear.

After a pause, he removes it.

Sanceul: LET ME OUTTA HERE YOU FU—mmmppphmph!

Anti-Morgan: -adjusts bondage/sigh- I suppose there’s always shock therapy. Give me a moment.

Sanceul: Mmphmph?? MMPH!!

(Twilight Realm)

Lupus: o.e I AM NOT CHEATING WITH A MAN! I AM CONFIDENT IN MY SEXUALITY!

Distant cackles echo in the distance.

Lupus: FO REAL!!

(Hellfire)

Voice: …………………………………………………………………….

Voice stares.

Voice: ‘Truest of beauties’? We’re alone. In the dark. With no lights. Oh, yes, dancing seems like a great idea. –rolls eyes- Stop this, or you’re gonna git a cap in yo ass.

Narrator 2: OH GOD—EBONICS! IT’S CONTAGIOUS!! –flees-

[Sivoncé™]

(Destinian Terra)

Hatshepsut wiggles her behind and pounces on Narrator 3.

Narrator 3: OUCH! MAN DOWN! NARRATOR 2, LEAVE ME AND RUN! RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN!

Hatshepsut: Dang, grandmothers are ugly....

Narrator 3: IMMA KILL YOU STUPID GARDEN HOE!

(Blood Mist Camp)

Babylonia experiences a mildly annoying buzzing noise in her ear when Euphrates speaks. This is what she hears:

Euphrates: Ummm… er, y’see… I… you’re my mother, after all, and should probably know… but, Fireflight here, I need you to stop killing her for a while. ‘cause, y’see, she’s… erm… me and her she's hideous… we extended the family together...so I think we need to cut the extra… if ya get what I’m sayin’…

Babylonia: Why, that's exactly what I've been saying this entire time! I don't know why you put up such a fuss, sweetie!

Babylonia: -thoughts- I HAVE PERMISSION! MWAUH AHHAAHA!

(Siverian Camp)

Annelise is all giggly and giddy with their impending mother/fatherhood crossover.

Annelise: So, what should we name them? I was thinking maybe we should do Chinese or Russian, cause ya know the whole cultures thing is such a trend nowadays! Did you hear Euphrates and Fireflight had an Egyptian-themed litter? I am also completely open to naming them after Disney characters.

(Sheeran Camp)

Siv dies. Her body disintegrates into little butterflies

Narrator 3: Well, he is a looker. And you know what they say about how looks can kill....

(Yozoran Terra)

Assyria: -sly smile- Sure, I'd love to. I actually have a wide collection of family members if you'd like to come for dinner sometime? -wink wink-

(Loner/Rogue Lands)

Damien: -jaw drop-
Damien: -thoughts- DAMN GIRL! She's....ughh...NO, MUST BE POLITE AND NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF DRUGGED SANCEUL 0_0

Damien: -untangles himself and runs and hides in cave- WE CAN'T MAKE BABIES -- IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, TRUST ME! 0_o

Damien notices the real Sanceul and Anti-Morgan are in the cave with him.

Damien: .....please tell me you're not trying to rape me, too? I know I look strong, but there's only so much I can handle all at once....

Outside of the cave, Anti-Damien enters the scene. His eyes bulge as he sees Anti-Sanceul.

Anti-Damien: Why, hello, little lady, mind if I take advantage of you?

(Twilight Realm)

Rhain raises a crtical brow.

Rhain: Right, if you're so confident, then what's with the obsession with flowers, hm? -nods to the declined pile of roses on the ground-

(Hellfire)

Regulus clears his throat.

Regulus: ahem, why, I didn't realize you felt that way. This makes for an entirely different situation....

A random stagewolf appears, fumbles briefly in the darkness, and then dons a backwards baseball cap on Regulus' head, some bling around his neck, and some shades on his face.

Regulus: B*tch, wanna go?

Narrator 3: Show em watchyu's made outta, punk!

[.Rabid Lycan.]

(Destinian Terra)

Narrator 2: No, but—I can’t leave you! D:

Narrator 2 returns, attempting to fight off the pups.

Isis: Oo! I found an ASSYRIA!!

Isis giggles and pounces on Narrator 2, and Narrator 2 runs off with the pup clinging on.

Narrator 2: YARRRG!!! STAGE WOLF!! GET IT OFF!!

Stage Wolf peers over, then quickly returns backstage, throwing an umbrella and a plastic ruler over his shoulder.

Narrator 2: TAKE THIS, FIEND!! –swings umbrella around-

(Blood Mist Camp)

Euphrates evidently does not realize that Babylonia… misinterpreted. He perks his ears up in disbelief.

Euphrates: R-really…? You mean it?? That’s… that’s wonderful! I, um… yeah. –smiles/calming down- You have six grandchildren, mom. Three boys, three girls, all healthy. Erm, maybe I can bring one or two to visit sometime…?

Euphrates: -thoughts- If Fireflight doesn’t maul me first.

(Siverian Camp)

Shade seems equally spazztic about the ordeal.

Shade: DISNEY! –jumps up and down- OUR FIRST CHILD SHALT BE ALADDIN. Unless it’s a girl… in which case she shall be ESMERALDA.

Shade: -thoughts- But no Bambi. That would be… disgraceful.

(Sheeran Camp)

Coop collapses into shock and tears.

Coop: NOOOOOOOO!!! I WAS SO CLOOOSEE!!! –weeps- WHY???

Arroyo: -still searching/twitches ears- Did I hear something…?

(Yozoran Terra)

Bain nods.

Bain: That would be wonderful. I have the perfect suit. –glances at dancing outfit- …when can I meet this family of yours?

(Loner/Rogue Lands)

Anti-Sanceul: Wha? C’mon, feel the testosterone, babe—and I, for one, think we could make beautiful babies together.

Anti-Sanceul trails after Damien, but is stopped by Anti-Damien. She rolls her eyes.

Anti-Sanceul: Not now, perv—I’m in the middle of some important business here. And since when have you started asking? But whatever. Rain check, m’kay?

Anti-Sanceul brushes past Anti-Damien and calls after Real Damien.

Anti-Sanceul: Hey, sexy! Come back!

Meanwhile, in the cave, Sanceul is undergoing shock therapy.

Anti-Morgan: You need to learn to be more like my Sanceul—come now, try to mimic her.

Sanceul kicks him. Anti-Morgan appears appalled at such behavior, and shocks her with a taser.

Anti-Morgan: Honestly concentrate this time. Feel her essence—channel her emotions into you.

Sanceul closes her eyes, and legitimately concentrates.

Sanceul: Hmmm… I feel… strangely aroused… but why? ಠ_ಠ

Anti-Morgan and Sanceul look up and see that Damien has entered their midst.

Sanceul: Ohai…? –confused/long pause- …erm… I don’t think I’m trying to rape you. Though you look wonderfully smexy right now, don’t get me wrong. –slaps self out of channeling the other Sanceul- But I think we’re all overlooking the fact that WE’REALLINAFRIGGINCAVEANDTHEBATSAREGONNACOMEANDEATUSALL!!! –hyperventilates-

Anti-Morgan: …there are no bats here…

Sanceul: LIES!!

Anti-Sanceul: -pops up and presses against Damien- So… come here often? –seductive wink-

(Twilight Realm)

Lupus: Wha..? THAT’S… THAT’S BEING ROMANTIC!! And it’s like… OUR THING!! Y’know, you and me? Female and male? HETEROSEXUAL!!

(Hellfire)

The Voice stares blankly at Regulus through the darkness.

Voice: …how do I even know you’re worth my time? I can’t even see you.

[Sivoncé™]

(Destinian Territory)

Narrator 3 takes the plastic ruler and proceeds to beat Hatshepsut with it. Hatshepsut falls unconscious. Narrator 3 laughs and sticks her tongue out.

Narrator 3 charges Narrator 2's tormentor.

Narrator 3: BEHOLD THE PLATICKY WRATH OF THE PLASTIC RULER!

(Blood Mist Camp)

Babylonia: GRANDCHILDREN! Ooooh, why didn't you say so honey? And aw, bring them all! I have a right, you know; I'm the only living grandmother they have!

Babylonia: -thoughts- MWUAH HAHAHAHAHAHA! MY LIFE IS COMPLETE!

(Siverian Camp)

Annelise: DUDEZOMG! Let's just have twenty kids mkay? You have ten and I'll have ten, it'll work out great! We can start our own colony....the colony of DISNEY! And call it WONDERLAND!

(Sheeran Camp)

Narrator 3: So, now that you're not seeing anyone, Mr. Coop,...

(Yozoran Terra)

Assyria: Well, have you died before? We hang in the Hell Hood, if you know what I'm sayin. You've probably seen them if you've been dead and hung with the hotties.

(Loner/Rogue Lands)

Anti-Damien frowns, turns to a Stage Wolf, and waggles his eyebrows.

Damien: -glaring at Anti-Morgan- Your daughter is a SKANK! Not you, Sanceul, you're fine -- I mean the RAPIST THAT IS ACTING LIKE A WINDOW-CLING! 0_0

Damien: -thoughts- I am so violated right now! Aw shit, we are in a cave! Okay, time to think fast....

Damien: Please don't touch me? And hey, please stop tasing my girlfriend?

Damien: -thoughts- Come on, I used THE MAGIC WORDS it's gotta work!

(Twilight Realm)

Siveria pops in and glares furiously at Rhain.

Siveria: Lupus, your wife is a drug dealer. I think we need to stage an immediate intervention.

Rhain: -hastily shoves herbs away- Siveria, don't be ridiculous -- I'm an herb healer!

Siveria: More like an herb-breather! You had me thinking I was alive again in the Sheeran territories with some funny boy named Soup or something like that. He kept wanting to give me flowers. I ate his chocolates and then I died and ended up back here.

Rhain:....0_o Soup, you say? Did he have a little friend named Chicken Noodle? Oh, and Lupus, I'm certain you meant to say heteroflexible.

(Hellfire)

Regulus sighs in exasperation.

Regulus: Kiss me, I'm Irish! Plus I'm sexy as hell.

[.Rabid Lycan.]

(Destinian Territory)

Narrator 2: HALP!! I’M BEING MUGGED!!

Isis falls over, hit by ruler, and pauses. After a moment, she proceeds to sniffle, and then cry.

Isis: You’re mean! I’m telling Daddy! –runs off after Euphrates’ scent, to (Blood Mist Camp)-

Narrator 2 sits in a daze.

(Blood Mist Camp)

Euphrates: Alright, sounds like a—

Isis: DADDY!!

Euphrates: 0.0;; ISIS!?? What are you doing here?? You were supposed to stay with your mother!

Isis: B-but –sniff- these two bad, ugly people hit me and Hatshepsut –hiccup- with a ruler! And an umbrella!

(Siverian Camp)

Shade: BEST PLAN EVA. –jumps up and down- BEST COLONY-PACK EVER. OH GAWD I WISH THESE BABIES WOULD COME NOW!

Shade pauses, trying to calculate when he himself had become pregnant.

(Sheeran Camp)

Coop wipes tears from his eyes, looks up and stares at Narrator 3.

Coop: … Damn, if sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged! Wanna grab a drink?

(Yozoran Terra)

Bain: Hm, I have not experienced death before, though I may look it. That said, I have, however, “hung with the hotties”.

Bain looks at Assyria, and winks through his mask. Stage Wolf returns to put on his shades. Badass.

(Loner/Rogue Lands)

Everyone freezes.

Anti-Morgan: …though you look suspiciously like that wolf that keeps molesting my daughter… I suppose I can trust you. You seem polite enough.

Anti-Morgan steps aside, allowing Sanceul to leave. Instantly, Sanceul speeds toward the exit, jumps out of the cave—and runs straight into Anti-Damien.

Sanceul: -dazes- Big guy…?

Sanceul: -thoughts- Wait, did I hear something about… making babies…? Whatever, REMEMBERTHEBATS!!

Sanceul pushes aside the Stage Wolf hides behind Anti-Damien. Whilst this happens, Anti-Sanceul looks up at Damien with hurt eyes.

Anti-Sanceul: Don’t you like me…? Aw, okay… I see how it is… -slinks away-

(Twilight Realm)

Lupus is breathing hard, furious, but looks up in surprise at Siveria’s comment. He then straightens up and folds his arms across his chest as best he can.

Lupus: Rhain. –taps foot- What is this about drugs? AND I’M NOT FLEXIBLE. I’M STIFF. LIKE CARDBOARD—NO, LIKE A ROCK. LIKE A GIANT FRIGGIN’ STEEL BOULDER.

Breathing hard again.

Lupus: …but like Siv said, do you have an issue? Because it’s okay—we can work this out. Together. As a family. Or as an extended family –nods to the Rehab center in the distance-

(Hellfire)

Long pause.

Voice: Screw it… I don’t get out of this place nearly often enough. –jumps up and kisses him passionately-