Wake Me Up When September Ends

[.Rabid Lycan.]

"You do realize that there will be no winner?" Ragg hissed, shoving Mosca to the ground and driving his bloodly foreclaws into her shoulder. "A pointless battle in which no one can die."

"Pointless?" she scoffed, ignoring the pain. "I don't have a choice anymore, Ragg. I have to fight for my mother... I loved her like you never did."

Ragg rolled his eyes. "Save the guilty stories for someone who cares."

"You're right, I'm wasting my breath..." Mosca muttered, locking her limbs in their positions and refusing to struggle. But she continued to speak. "But I wonder what she would think now? Would she forgive or submit or try to kill you too? What do you think, my dearest father?"

Ragg scowled. "Shut up, Mosca. Or I'll beat you like I used to... without holding back."

"Oh, did I strike a chord? What would mother say? Actually, what would your mother say?"

"ENOUGH!" Ragg snarled, grasping his daughter's neck in jaws and biting down as hard as he could, then throwing her to one side like a useless chew toy.

Mosca hit the ground and didn't move. She was already dead, of course... but she didn't move. Her spine was numb, and she felt hardly anything.

Ragg glared murder at Mosca, and fled into the shadows. I should've killed her in that river...

[Ärï]

Halo continued letting the crashing images of his life wash over him, crushing him under their weight one after the other. He felt all the guilt, sadness and lonelienss ten times stronger then before. This was mostly because now there was no hope of making things right with those he had hurt or done wrong to. There would be no reunion, no second chance, no time to say I'm sorry. It wouldn't happen. The brute laid in a sphinx pose, eyes closed as his memories crashed upon him, pressing him down and weighing down his stone heart. Usually remembering came right after a wolf woke up in the Twilight Realm but for Halo, it seemed his need to know if Mosca was dead or alive had kept it at bay.

Sitting up Halo let out the most mournful howl ever sung by a wolf. It was a heart-breaker, lonely, sorrowful and pain-filled, just as Halo's life had been. Nothing could repair that now. No herbs can heal a broken heart or a broken wolf. He had thought he would find peace in the Twilight Realm, waiting for his family to join him and then greet them when they died, run with Merci again, find a place where for once he wouldn't have to worry about hurt or sorrow. It seemed he'd been horribly wrong.

[.Rabid Lycan.]

Mosca heard this mournful howl, and she knew that, if she could move, she would've howled a similar reply.
There's no escaping the sorrow... only room for more.
She tried to drag herself in Halo's direction, but nothing seemed to want to cooperate.
Will I always be like this, or only temporarily?
She closed her eyes tight.
Will I ever see my mother again? At this thought, some part of her brain told her that she most likely would not.

[Ärï]

Halo's call died and he decided it was time to fight the tide. Rising to his paws, the ivory brute turned and padded toward where Mosca and the brute had been fighting. He found her laying at the base of a tree, paralyzed. Halo's paws stopped and he looked at her sadly for a long moment before padding to her and laying down near her, resting his head on his paws, facing the ebony femmora. His eyes were sad though still topaz-shaded and bright. "I'm sorry Mosca" he murmured softly.

[.Rabid Lycan.]

Mosca's breathing quickened as Halo settled himself beside her. In her eyes there were tears of defiance, rage, and sorrow.
I will get better... I have to. If I don't.... how can I forgive my brother? How can I follow Halo?
She closed her eyes, which was about the only thing she could do.

[Ärï]

Halo closed his eyes and looked away from Mosca. "You shouldn't be here" he murmured softly. "Why did you come after me? You weren't meant to die that night, only I was." Halo had known it before he had gone after the humans. He had known that in protecting the only things he'd had left that he would die. Mosca hadn't been part of the equation. She had been the one thing he had not thought about. She had been too close, too close to danger and in the end it had killed her too. Slowly Halo rose to his paws once more, looking troubled.

[.Rabid Lycan.]

Mosca's eyes snapped open instantly. She watched Halo in a strange stare, with both amusement and distress in her eyes.
You actually think I'd let you die out there? she wanted to say. I've spent my whole life doing things like that... You'd think I'd leave you now? That I felt I could just leave you to die?
She narrowed her eyes to slits, and then closed them again.

[Ärï]

"You'll be able to move soon" Halo murmured. "But...it's probably best if you don't follow me this time. I've done enough damange in your life, I don't need to do more in your afterlife."

Halo turned away from Mosca and started walking away, his steps labored and slow. Again bits of his life flashed before his eyes. His whole life he'd been a problem for everybody. He'd torn his sister from their home, then been unable to protect her from death as he had promised. All he had ever been was the drifting ghost wondering from here to there and coming only when needed. He was tired and his afterlife was offering no rest.

[.Rabid Lycan.]

Mosca's eyes snapped open again, and she stared after Halo with tears in her eyes. This time, of longing and sorrow.
No, no, Halo... It's not you're fault!
Again, she tried to test her vocals in a scream.
She only made a soft sound that was like a mumble or grunt.
Dammit...

[Ärï]

Halo hesitated. It felt wrong leaving Mosca there when she couldn't move but....it was for her own good in the end. Halo sighed softly and continued walking, his paws deciding their path for his mind was too busy to care or decide where he should go. Finding Merci could wait. For now he needed to find a way to fight off these memories that cause nothing but pain.

[.Rabid Lycan.]

Mosca closed her eyes, completely immobile. Tears spilled out.
She hadn't been afraid of death. She had managed to avoid it for the mere purpose of finding her brother and helping other wolves, but she had always been ready for it.
But she had been afraid of this.
This is why your heart is a dangerous thing a dark voice crooned, hissing in her ear. You can lose yourself to it... in a fate worse than death.
The voice continued, and Mosca was startled to realize that the noise was her own, but sharp and broken. Her doubts and rage were now speaking to her, as they had done beneath the river when her father had tried to drown her...
Thite betrayed you... why shouldn't Halo do the same?
No Mosca thought. Halo isn't like that...
How do you know for sure? Have you known him long enough? And this should be proof... Look, he is walking away. Leaving you, just as Thite did...
Shut up! It... it can't be true!
Prove me wrong.
Tears flooded her eyes and she closed her eyes shut, wanting to disappear. Not exsist.
She couldn't prove the voice wrong.

[Ärï]

Halo's steps were becoming slower. His head was held low in a position of defeat. He'd ruined it all. Everything, for Merci, and for Mosca. He'd torn their lives apart and in Mosca's case, ended hers. It was painful, impossible to walk away. He didn't want to. Halo sat miserably in a small clearing, staring at the sky.

We're dead Halo thought sourly.

So why worry? asked a voice in his mind. What more can you do to her? Why not try to make things the way they were?

Halo's ears pricked.

No more harm can be done in this realm, only healing.

Slowly, Halo rose to his paws and padded back the way he had come, moving swiftly and soundlessly through the forest. The voice had been right. He couldn't hurt her anymore but he could try to make things better. Halo's stride broke to a run and before he knew it he was skidding to a halt just beyond Mosca's range of vision. Her eyes were closed, she was crying. Halo's heart evaporated. Slowly the brute laid down at the edge of the clearing, head resting on his paws in his typical stance when he was waiting, his topaz eyes watching Mosca.

[.Rabid Lycan.]

He does care!
And how does he show it? By leaving you when you're paralyzed? By letting your father maul you?
That was my fault!
If he truly loved you, he would have helped anyways... just as you did, attacking the hounds and taking a bullet.
We're dead now. It wouldn't matter if he had helped or not... I can't die again.
Yet here you are...
Mosca winced painfully, eyes still firmly shut. The pain of these realizations were tearing her apart.

[Ärï]

Halo rose to his paws and quietly approached Mosca. His gaze was tormented but he kept silent, laying beside the femme, his ivory fur brushing her dark ebony coat. Halo groomed her ears gently, still unsure and uneasy, frightened of what he should say. He was so sure she blamed him for her death.......It hurt to know that. It was his fault she was here, his fault she had fallen for him enough to follow him when he'd been shot. If he'd kept his distance he would have, could have, kept her safe.

[.Rabid Lycan.]

Shut up she told the voice at last.
She tried to move again... This time her muzzle twitched. She was fighting to speak... but she couldn't get the sound out.
So close...
Yet so far...