>>here<< i S T A N D (Arkantos/Asha)

[Sivoncé™]

Messed up. That's what this is.
Arkantos sighed heavily, ebony-and-blue-licked pelt glowing with a soft luminosity under the stars. He was alone, as he always was on his night walks. Once again, he reached the tall, abundant fronds of greenery in the Wintermint Meadows. He came here each and every night. Perhaps it was to escape the grief he still felt like bullets in his chest. Grief for his mother, his father, his brother, all driven to insanity by the chaos created by the sickness that had flourished in these lands not long ago. Arkantos' light job came to a slow walk, and then a complete stop before he sank down to his knees, into the weeds. Not a fern, nor herb, nor flower here had helped ease the agony of their passing. In fact, Annelise had prescribed him with a regular dose of chamomile to help ease him and maybe allow him some sleep. He hadn't told her that it didn't help; the young healer was talented enough to stay alive through the sickness even though her duty must've drained her. She didn't deserve him, a lost cause, on her conscience.
And the other part was the way wolves looked at him now. It used to be friendly, cheerful, bright gazes of friends, packmates, companions. Now, all he saw was his own emptiness reflected back on their eyes, even pity mixed in. He knew he was a wreck, still. Most wolves at least had moved on with their lives. Why couldn't he?
Maybe because now it felt there was very little to move on for. Sure, he had his pack, which he was unswervingly loyal to. However, there were many strong warriors among the Siverians. They would not suffer if they lost one, empty-spirited warrior. They might grieve, but he would not make any imprint on their strength. They would carry on.
And so, why am I needed here, if there is nothing left to be here for? Why didn't the sickness take me, too?

[silverpelt12]

A second night- black figure slipped through the shadows of the forest around the clearing, the tall weeds went up to the shoulder's of it's body, amber eyes glinting as it swept in a circle, a silhouette umon shadows. It moved smoothly, ruffling the plants and weeds it passed. Suddenly, it stopped. The thing stopped dead in it's tracks, eyes dancing with a strange-light. An eerie sight to those in a feild, was it a wolf bent on murder, or a packmate playing with their minds? Was it a gentle femmora, a mischevious brujo? Or was it a sick twisted wolf?
The truth was, it was a sweet, gentle femmora with a light sense of humor. Asha was bright, nearly glowing it seemed with joy. Always optemistic, no matter what happened to her. Some had died, become depressed, or too serious to enjoy being around after imerging from the Spirit wood. She knew she had saved lives, it made her extatic she had help others. The dark-furred wolf sank to the ground and slid into the weeds, hidden completely, still unknown to those in the meadow of who she was. Her amber eyes sparkled like a set of stars, of the sun melted down into pure golden light and placed in her eyes.
She pounced like a cat at the other wolf and placed her paws onhis back, she whispered in his ear, "You know, it would have been quite sad if I had been a murderer, Ankratos." she laughed lightly and took her paws off his shoulders and she sat next to the wolf.

[Sivoncé™]

Arkantos stiffened, ears and nose twitching slightly. It seemed he was not alone tonight. He could smell the other wolf, and was rather suprised when she seemed to be approaching, especially being who she was. Asha thought Arkantos was a stalker or something as far as he knew. He winced at the thought.
Suddenly, there were paws on his back and a whisper in his ears. He grimaced at her words as they swam wtih his current thoughts. His eyes were pained, desperate, longing. Longing to be normal again. Longing to be happy again. Longing for any sort of feeling other than this damp cloud surrounding him. Longing just to be something more.
He gazed at Asha, laboring to put some effort into a smile. He managed a rather crooked half-smile, but that was all. He was suprised he'd even managed that, but still discouraged.
It's Asha, for cripes' sake! The fae you've had a crush on since you were a freaking neophyte! You aren't shy. So what's the problem? You can't even smile for her? He berated himself inwardly.
"What brings you out here?" He asked, managing to feel the slightest bit curious.

[silverpelt12]

"Look up," she woofed and looked into the stars, they seemed to be brighter than she'd ever seen them before. She pulled her eyes away from the stars, though she wanted to keep watching, "And with how depressed you've been, more so than usual," she said then noticed it was beginning to sound hurtful, "Not that you seen depressed, I just geuss that with evrything that's happened you would be." she sort of quieted down now, "I was making sure you didn't run and jump off suicide hill." she giggled lightly and nudged him, "Come on, nobody should want a packmate to be so deppressed." she mumured and lay in sphinx position, "It wouldn't be right," she was talking way too much, she thought to herself, and waited for him to reply. She rolled in the direction away from him and looked up into the satrs, her breathing was clam, as if she were sleeping, but she was awake.

[Sivoncé™]

Arkantos' eyes followed the subject of her gaze. The stars never ceased to awe him, but the glow seemed to be absolutely radiant, jubilant, tirumphant. Perhaps it was something about the way the aurora twirled and sashayed around the glinting masterpieces, their colors completing the appearence of serenity and peace in the heavens.
Arkantos' ears twitched slightly at Asha's words. His eyes moved rom the stars, now resting on the grounds in front of him.
"It's hard..." he murmured after a moment, eyes still locked on the ground. "It's so hard to see my parents turned against each other, trying to kill each other, and remember love still exists, though I suppose I do know that it does. It's still impossible to define," he fell silent quickly, eventually dragging his eyes up to the stars again.
"But then you see things like this," he nodded to the stars, "and how could these two events exist in a world that is the same? How could something so dark occurr when I see Mystic and Lance, caring for their pups in the camp, when I see Annelise and Magic, going about their healer work, when I see every warrior move with more loyalty to their pack than anyone could've guessed, and when something like these skies watch over us? It's completely....confusing."

[silverpelt12]

"When my father died," she murmured quietly, she didn't like this memoir, "It drove my mother insane, she couldn't stand it and she committed suicide, I had lost so many in such a short time, I thought all the happiness in the world had gone, but then I felt something, like she was speaking to me, and she told me to live, to not let anything stand in my way, and to do what I know is right. I knew she meant to be happy, but I don't know what else she meant. When something so catastrophic explodes into you world, and shatters it, sometimes, you need help to piece it back together, because sometimes, things don't fit like they used to, and new pieces are needed for the puzzle." she whispered the last words, looking into the midnight blue of the sky, like a blanket laid over a child, with the stars the child's smile.

[Sivoncé™]

Arkantos was shocked by her words, as they reached down into the deep, dark depths of his agony. Never had he heard someone speak so knowledgeably about his pain and sorrows. Maybe because few had experianced what he had, or what Asha had. Maybe they were two of a kind, the two of them. Maybe he'd been waiting to hear these words from her all along, and that was why the sympathies from all the others sounded so stale and plain compared to this drink she'd given him in the middle of his torturous desert. Relief flooded over his tired limbs, and so did sadness, but it was no longer sharp and stabbing. Determination rose up to master it.
"Thank you, Asha. Really, that means a lot to me. I think that's what I needed to hear," he told her sincerely, eyes captivated now by the shimmering skies abover them.

[silverpelt12]

"Well, uh, that's me," she grinned at him, "One miricale at a time. First I save my pack from a plague that would have wiped us out, now I save you. Hm.. maybe I do fit my name." she reminisced to herself. The thought that her parents knew that her life would need her was impossible. She looked around , "Hi mom," she whispered, looking up into the sky, two stars twinkle more brightly than the rest. She waved one paw up at the sky and murmured, "Hi dad." to follow it up.

[Sivoncé™]

He raised a brow playfully at her. "Really? Cause I think there were eight other wolves that might've had something to do with it too," he reminded her, but it wasn't a rebuke or anything like that;; it was a good-natured reminder. He frowned deeply as the smokestacks interrupted the otherwise fine evening, even spurring another coughing fit from him. He'd seen the healer earlier, but it still hadn't made much of a difference.
"Sorry about that," he woofed haorsely. "The smoke has been getting to a lot of wolves...." He frowned, thinking not only of the long line for the healer den, but of Sabela and Annelise, wolves that hadn't come back so far from the fires of the Twilight Clearing.
These are dark times....

((crappy post, sorry -- I'm running late for cross country))