Trials of a Nonexistent Muse

[Njack]

“Honestly, if you wanted a story idea, you could have just asked me,” she said, floating in front of his face.
“Honestly, if you weren’t nonexistent, I’d slap you right out of my face right now,” Jack mumbled. “It’s getting quite annoying, all these times when I’m sitting right here trying to think up something and then you stick your nonexistent face right in front of my face.”
“Well, I am your muse,” Kathy grumbled.
“My nonexistent muse.” Jack fiddled with the keys on his keyboard. “Go do something useful, instead of bothering me, okay?”
Kathy stuck out her tongue at Jack, beat him over the head with her nonexistent harp, and floated off.
“Ow! What the hey was that for!?” He readjusted his glasses and continued staring at the screen. “And where did she get a harp, anyway? I sure didn’t give her an allowance this month…”
---
“If you didn’t spend so much of your time playing computer games,” Kathy sniffed, “I’d have more time to inspire you.”
Jack groaned. “You’re back again? How many times do I have to tell you that you’re nonexistent?”
“But I can help!” She scrunched up her eyebrows. “Really! See? I’m making you get ideas and write faster, right now!”
“How many words per minute are you speeding up? As far as I can see, about… five.”
“That’s not the point!” Kathy pouted. “The point is, I’m keeping you from getting writer’s block!”
“Couldn’t I do that on my own?” Jack twirled a pencil. Very badly. “I mean, you’re nonexistent.”
“Stop using the same argument over and over!”