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Post by Sivoncé™ on Nov 16, 2010 22:30:33 GMT -5
His eyes narrowed as she spoke, and he shook his head slightly. "But the thing is, you don't know if it was a change or not. Maybe it was always a part of who I was. But...what does it matter, BurnNote? What does it matter? You'll just go on with your life like you have and I'll go on with mine, just like it never happened, and then that's that, isn't it? So angels care sometimes when they shouldn't, and I'm telling you right now, you shouldn't. I won't be there to comfort you, I won't join your pack for you, I won't be anything of the things you need me to be. Angels care for what they shouldn't."
He was still breathing heavily, looking at her with an expression of wildness written across his face.
He didn't know what he was saying. More than that, he didn't know what he was thinking. Because as he named the things he wouldn't do for her, images of him doing those exact things came into his mind. And yet, he'd been love's fool one too many times before that he couldn't allow himself to buy into it.
"You might trust me. But only you."
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Post by H.ell . Fi.re.|†A.lba on Nov 16, 2010 22:56:47 GMT -5
Each word he said now hit her like a brick, and it physically caused her to back away from him. She had let her defenses down, damn it. And look where it got her. Nothing but the cold truth that she didn't want to hear. She slowly stood up, her eyes flashing with a faint note of being hurt. "I see..."[/color] She felt like a complete and utter fool. She remembered what she had promised herself. She would never let her true emotions out of the box she had so carefully crafted so it couldn't be broken. So the seal couldn't be broken, and she could continue living a lie. I mean, how could she have expected him to do any of those things when there had never been anyone in her life who would do any of the things he had just listed for her. Hell, her mother left the scar above her right eye-brow. She had died, and left BurnNote in this big, lonely world all alone. Her father had left her with an old widow who treated her as her own. She could still see the hate in her fathers eyes; she could feel the daggers piercing into her flesh as he glared at her when she called him daddy. The widow wasn't with her long, for she was taken away from her as well. Her brother? Hell, he wanted to kill her now. He wished she was dead. Now, she was devoting herself to a pack who didn't come and rescue her when she was in trouble. More over, she was falling for a brute that apparently didn't give a shit about her. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. She quickly shook that emotion away, and put it under lock and key. No, now what was boiling was her temper. "Why is it I'm suddenly the one at fault now? If you don't give a damn about me, then why the hell are you here, Regulus? You're right. I am a fool. A complete, and utter fool to actually try and see the good in wolves. To put my own damn feelings aside because I care more about other wolves than my self. I applaude you, Regulus. You proved me wrong!"[/color] She wasn't nearly done with her out-burst. Oh no, she was just getting started. "You think you're the only one that has been burned in life, Regulus? Sure, I didn't burn in hell, but I went through a living hell all my life. Home after home was taken away from me. And you wanna know why you know so much about my past? It's because I told you."[/color] Her jaw set, and she stopped talking, and lowered her crown just the slightest. Her blue eyes were bright with ember it seemed. The next thing she says might sting a little. "I see that it was a mistake now...perhaps ever trusting you was a mistake. You were the enemy, after all. I guess I just thought..." She shook her head, and when she raised her gaze to him again, it was empty. As if he were a stranger she had never met before. Now you saw the difference. Now you see that she had been overjoyed to see him at first, but now...underneath the facade was a hurt dove that refused to admit to herself that she was truly hurt. It wasn't worth it now. When she met his gaze again, she said "I don't know what I thought. Now, are you going to continue and waste my time, or was there a real reason you came here?"[/color] Ouch. Double ouch. Yet, he had hurt her more than words could say though. More than he would, or could ever know. --Awwhh....  I honestly never planned it this way. But, like, my boyfriend was getting mad at me and crap for something I didn't do, and all of that kinda spilled into my post. ^^' And then he went to bed...and I told him I loved him, like normal, and he was just like "....Goodnight." So...I'm like -.-. See if I ever do that again. But, anyways, what do you think will happen? I still don't think we should give up on them. |
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Post by Sivoncé™ on Nov 16, 2010 23:44:09 GMT -5
His eyes widened slightly as she began her mess of a rant, and then slowly, they narrowed, and slowly, the half-snarl appeared once again on his maw, and then he was suddenly shouting back at her. "Are you kidding me? What, are you deaf woman? I never claimed to 'not give a shit about you' obviously I do to leave the home I've had for centuries just save your ungrateful little ass! I don't know where you're suddenly pulling this all from! What, so you've suddenly realized I'm not your perfect little prince charming? That's all women want, isn't it? I told you! I told you I wasn't and pardon me, but I guess I'm the stupid one for coming here in the first place and believing that you could actually talk sense once in a while! I never said anything about your life not being hard -- I don't know where the hell that came from. I came here, as I am, and you claimed to care for me when you should've known better. You should've known better that I'm not a knight in shining armor and that I can't save you from anything! The only one who's disappointed you is yourself -- you're the one who claimed to care about me, but that's a lie. What you care about is what you want me to be for you, not who I am. I don't know where half of what you're yelling about came from, but I do know that only a fraction of it is my fault and I don't want to stay here and listen to you bitch at me when I....BurnNote, I just called you an angel! Did you hear that, or were you too busy making up words and putting them into my mouth?"He felt a surge of hatred, a deep, dark, passionate hatred that very nearly felt like something else altogether. He stared at her, dark eyes boring into her form with unconcealed intensity. There's a very, very thin line between love and hate...(( I haven't given up on them, either, but only time will tell if they'll ever stop yelling at each other  I think they're much alike in that respect. )) |
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Post by H.ell . Fi.re.|†A.lba on Nov 17, 2010 0:20:32 GMT -5
((Uh oh...there you went. He made her cry... xD))
She stopped, her mouth agape. Her eyes were wide, and all she could do was stare at him. She couldn't think of any words to say. She couldn't think right now. All she could think was I'm a fool. I'm a arrogant, irrational, incompetent women. She bowed her head, and the wall she had tried to build had come crashing down. Her blood went cold, yet her heart was still beating like a drum. She could hear it in her audits. Instead of a steady beat, it was:
Thumpthumpthump, thump, thumpthump, thump, thumpthumpthump, thump...
If she could stop the tears then she would have, but she couldn't. One by one the small crystalline tears were streaming down her cheeks, and she cast her face down toward the ground so he wouldn't see it. She was ashamed of herself. She searched for her voice, yet came up empty. Slowly she allowed her trembling form to slide to a rest on the ground, and let her head lay down on her paws. "You're right..."[/color] She whispered, yet still didn't dare to meet his glaring gaze. She didn't want to see the hate. She didn't want to see the disgust. "You did call me an angel. I'm sorry. I guess I'm not; just like you aren't a prince in shining armor. I should have known better than for caring for you. But alot of times, you can't help who you fall for."[/color] She wasn't trying to get pity from him. She was just so done with all the fighting, the yelling, and her senseless rants that she launched into when ever some one opposed her. She was utterly disgusted with herself, and felt as if she would hurl at any moment. Her stomach tossed and turned, yet she didn't have anything in it's contents. Quietly she looked up at him, her blue eyes dull. "I'm sorry....you say you don't deserve it...when the truth is I don't deserve you."[/color] After all, he put up with her senseless behavior all the time. He had been patient with the dove, yet she seemed to insist on being bitchy.
"I truly am sorry, Regulus. Though, don't you ever think that I didn't care for you. Because I did."[/color] And with that, she dropped her tear streaked crown, and let it rest on her fore paws. She hoped he knew she wasn't just looking for pity. She deserved what ever he dished out to her.
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Post by Sivoncé™ on Nov 17, 2010 7:42:35 GMT -5
Her words played back in his head.
I did care for you. Did.
But very clearly, not anymore now that she finally understood what she was looking at. That's how it typically went for him with these things, though. Girls saw him as rough and tumble, the bad boy who was allegedly sensitive underneath his outer shell, which was really just meant to keep people away because he'd been hurt so terribly sometime in the past. That was all lies, but that was what girls wanted and believed. They didn't want what he really was -- badass, maybe, but definitely not much more sensitive than he appeared, and he almost always told the truth and said what he meant without any of the 'mystery'.
Correction, you can't help who you pretend to fall for or think you fall for. You didn't fall for me, girl.
But her tears brought back the truth that, as he'd listed the things he wouldn't do for her, he felt an unmistakable urge to do them all. He stared at her for a long time, but uncertainty wouldn't let him do it, wouldn't let him comfort her.
"I....I do care for you, but I suppose that is the difference between you and me."
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Post by H.ell . Fi.re.|†A.lba on Nov 17, 2010 22:57:33 GMT -5
She shook her crown, but didn't look. She wasn't sobbing, but the tears were there. She did fall for him. Harder than she had intended her poor heart to do. With a shuddering sigh she raised her gaze to his once more, but didn't speak for a while as she searched for the right words to say. She did love him--she did fall for him--she did know that she was a foolish little...I don't know, but she knew that he was right. He was always right. He gave the hard, cold truth, and every body says that's all they want. The truth was that every one wanted the truth sugar-coated, and topped with sprinkles. No one wanted the raw truth. Yet, Regulus was that kind of wolf to give it to you. "No. That's not true. I didn't pretend, I didn't trick you, and I didn't play you Regulus. I was afraid to feel...I'm afraid of being hurt again. You want the hard cold truth?"[/color] She looked up to him now, fearless, yet the tears still ran like a never ending streak.
"I care for you, Regulus. Perhaps more than a girl should." And with that, she held his gaze, but didn't move. Was there reason to move?
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Post by Sivoncé™ on Nov 18, 2010 18:44:48 GMT -5
( grrr bad day at school! xP I will try not to superimpose my mood onto Regulus ) Gravity was playing mind games with him, darting in and out of existence as the she-wolf spoke. The tears coursed in a stream down her face, and as he watched them, he didn't relaize it, but he was taking tentative steps forwards. The front of his mind captured this after the first few steps, and a flicker of surprise dashed across the dark brute's features. Slowly, the surprise morphed into a sort of determination. He moved closer to BurnNote until they were but scant inches from each other -- able to taste each other's breath. Slowly, taking in her expression as he did so, he leaned close to her and licked away a tear that was falling from her cheek. When he drew back, he simply stared at her for a moment, his expression unreadable as ever. And then, in a similar manner as the way he'd come towards her, his paws took him delicately away. All through his movements, his eyes never left her face. What am I doing? Just playing with fire, as always. I can't promise this girl anything, even in the moment that I would like to. And he would've liked to; he would've liked, in that moment, to say he was forever changed and would beg the forgiveness of Fireflight and plea for admittance into her pack. He couldn't, though. He couldn't even promise he he'd fight on the side of the packs during the war that had fermented between them and his former brethren. I can't because I don't know....anything. I don't know a thing about us, and I'm far from ever being certain.(See? Can't tell that I'd like to punch something at all! ) |
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Post by H.ell . Fi.re.|†A.lba on Nov 21, 2010 21:52:19 GMT -5
She watched him as he carefully stepped closer to her. A flicker of surprise was seen dashing across her compostion. She watched as he slowly moved forward, and then found herself closing her eyes as he licked a tear away from her cheek. There was a small rush of feelings that seemed to warm her entire being with the slight contact, yet when the feeling left a tingling sensation in her chest when he pulled back, still never taking his eyes off of her face. She couldn't fathom what he was trying to read on her face, but BurnNote knew he was looking for any signs of distress, disgust, or even dishonesty read in her eyes. Yet, there was none of that. There was understanding of the dilemma that was set before them, and that he just didn't know. Slowly, the tears stopped falling, and a small smile spread across her maw. It was small, and hardly even there, but there all the same. There were no words spoken, for she didn't know what to say.
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Post by Sivoncé™ on Nov 23, 2010 21:22:15 GMT -5
Suddenly, some change seemed to wash over his face, and his once vulnerable features were now cold and hard like stone. Anger flared in his gaze -- anger at himself. What had happened to him? He always let it go this way, let girls change him and dictate who and what he was. A soft, half-snarl half-sneer curled from his maw. A voice in the back of his mind was instructing him to leave, leave and return to the realm of Blood Mist and beg for forgiveness while he still could. Either that, or find a way to murder the rest of Babylonia's order and restore himself amongst his kin, his family. What was he doing here, with this silly girl who'd only beg him to change for her, to come to the 'good' side and be as she was? It was like commanding an atheist to take communion; it was against all he'd been raised and taught to do.
"I shouldn't have let this happen." His tone was flat with the undercurrent of rage he felt at his sudden realization. She wants me to deny my own culture, my own race. Before. With Rhain. I should get the hell away from this girl before I end up with another child.
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Post by H.ell . Fi.re.|†A.lba on Nov 24, 2010 11:13:08 GMT -5
She raised her head, suddenly surprised by his change of tone. She was looking at him like he was a idiot, and then it struck him. He didn't want any of this...obviously. He was angry. For what reason exactly, she wasn't sure. Everything she did was wrong. She gives a little, and she gets smacked across the face. She takes too much, and she gets hurt. She comes to meet in the middle, and it's the worse pain of all. She had made herself vulnerable to him, and he couldn't make up his mind. Was she the she devil, or an angel. She was tired of waiting for the truth. She stood up, and said "Then allow me to fix it.[/i] And with that, she turned, and began walking deeper into the foliage. Her tail was dragging on the ground, her blue eyes filled with sorrow. Her crown was hanging close to the terra. The only way to make him happy was to let him go.
And letting go of something you love is always the hardest thing.
--Awwh...Poor BurnNote...
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Post by Sivoncé™ on Nov 24, 2010 13:15:40 GMT -5
If he'd been angry before, he was furious now.
Not only had she tried to mold him, to change him into something else, but she had the audacity to claim she cared for him. She only wanted the image she had conjured of him, not the boy who'd been raised to realize violence is a necessity and the world is a cruel place and you have to fight to find your place in it. She didn't want any of that; she wanted him to soften up and forget himself and let her take over his life! There is a fine line between love and hate...and this, perhaps, was a crossing over.
He didn't want to be alive again. He knew he wasn't alone; every Hellfirian was searching for a purpose. Most were satisfied by mere vengeance, but Regulus didn't have anyone to wreck vengeance on. He knew his daughter had children and perhaps they, in turn, had children but he wasn't here to redeem himself as a guardian, either. And he most certainly wasn't here to find love. Love was the most murderous lie that had ever been told.
I'm going completely insane, aren't I?
He sighed heavily, and turned to make his leave, not at all certain of where his paws would carry him next.
Perhaps back home...back to Blood Mist...
They always seemed to know when he would come back.
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Post by H.ell . Fi.re.|†A.lba on Nov 24, 2010 19:39:45 GMT -5
--*sigh* What now? She just can't seem to make him happy...so. I guess that's it...
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Post by Sivoncé™ on Nov 24, 2010 19:48:18 GMT -5
-- idk. See how it goes I guess. And for him it's not really about her making him happy, it's that he would have to change who he is, a Blood Mist, to be with her. But like I said, we'll see |
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Post by H.ell . Fi.re.|†A.lba on Nov 24, 2010 19:59:19 GMT -5
--Or it just doesn't happen at all. Right now...I really don't care.
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I honestly never planned it this way. But, like, my boyfriend was getting mad at me and crap for something I didn't do, and all of that kinda spilled into my post. ^^' And then he went to bed...and I told him I loved him, like normal, and he was just like "....Goodnight." So...I'm like -.-. See if I ever do that again. But, anyways, what do you think will happen? I still don't think we should give up on them.
I think they're much alike in that respect. ))
